MARRIED BUT NO SEX - Part 6

The Return Of Sis Rose

Her issue became complicated when she discovered that she was HIV positive. The cost of kidney transplant for a HIV patient was also a nightmare. All her corporate prostitution could not fetch her enough money for her kidney transplant.

She lived in fear and agony daily as her health deteriorated. 'This is the time to return home like the prodigal son to my husband, earthly father and heavenly father. She said to herself. 'But will my husband accept me back? What would I tell my father? How do I explain my foolishness to my pastor? Would I be able to face my church members again? How do I tell my unit leader in church that I left my husband because of one day sexual denial? How do I explain to people that see me as a good Christian?' She was lost in thought.

Thoughts of suicide filled her mind. 'The pain and shame will be too heavy a cross for me to carry. What is the use of a woman with damaged kidney living with HIV? Even if the kidney transplant is successful what about the HIV virus? What a useless life! To die would have been better than this. O death where are you? If you don't come for me l, I will come to you.'

At about 11am on Thursday his phone rang, 'hello! Hello! Who am I on to?' Bro Solo asked his caller. 'It's me Angela, Rose's friend.' 'Oh, Angela how are you? Quite an age,' he greeted. 'Sir I have a good news and a bad news for you, which will you want me to share first, the bad news or the good news?' 'Please share the bad new first and let the good news follow, he said. Your wife is alive and reachable but'........ 'But what?' He interrupted her. She's sick and in need of a kidney donor to save her life. 'Please tell her I will donate my second kidney for her. At this time he had not known that she was also HIV positive.

Immediately he arrived at the hospital and saw Sis Rose he could not but shed uncontrollable tears because of her pitiable condition. 'Why didn't you give me a chance to explain myself? Why did you leave me in this agony without knowing I did what I did to save your life? If I had slept with you that night you would have been dead by now. You didn't allow me explain the agenda of my 4 and half hours meeting with your parents and elders.

'I am sorry, I was misled. I listened to the agent of the devil in sheep's clothing. I was not wise enough to ask you. It was Bro Sam who told me few days to our wedding that you are impotent. I didn't believe him initially but your attitude on our wedding day made me believe him.' Bro Sam is Bro Solo's friend in the same unit in church. He was nursing the intension of wooing Sis Rose when Bro Solo introduced her to him as his fiancée. This secret was known after it was discovered Bro Sam had told similar lies against two other brothers in church. He was suspended from his unit for three months after his confession.

'Let's leave all these talk for now and attend to your health. Can I see the doctor?' He was led to the doctor's office to donate his kidney to save his wife. Tests were carried out on him but his kidney could not be used. 'Please sir do something to save my wife's life, she must not die.' Bro Solo begged the doctor. 'If she was not HIV positive the transplant  would have been much easier.' The doctor said. HIV what? Bro Solo collapsed and was rushed to the emergency ward for attention.

The suspense will soon end. Part 7 will reveal much

A Story Written By Ayodele Adeoye

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MARRIED BUT NO SEX - Part 5

Immediately after Sis Rose left her 1 day old marriage, she traveled to a far place like the prodigal son. She went to live with an old friend from her primary school days in a place where nobody would know her. She quickly changed her phone number and vowed never to contact anybody until after three years. It was a nightmare for Bro Solo all the time she was away. He was married but single. In no time he was nicknamed "A man who married for one day".

Bro Solo tried all his best in search of his wife but all to no avail. The shame and pressure from his in-laws were unbearable as they pestered his life daily to produce their daughter. Some good friends and his pastor stood by him during this trying times as everyone turned on their search lights. Has she committed suicide? Has anything bad happened to her? Is she alive or dead? These and more questions were Bro Solo's daily thoughts.

Sis Rose kept to her promise as she went into the world in search of sexual satisfaction anywhere and everywhere available. She could sleep with three different men within a month. Her journey from Zion to Egypt was swift - a vibrant Christian sister turned a corporate prostitute as she jumped from one man to the other irrespective of their status. She did not spare anything in trouser that crossed her path. She was like a bird let loosed from the cage.

Sis Rose was fully aware of the tradition in her family because her father narrated the pros and cons of the tradition to her after she lost Magdalena, her immediate sister. She died on her wedding night after her husband made love to her. On hearing this, Sis Rose had gone to her pastor in her former church who is gifted in deliverance ministry. It was a seven days deliverance session. During this deliverance session it was revealed to the man of God the origin of the tradition.

Her great great grandfather in search of wealth, power and fame had married out all his daughters born and unborn to a powerful goddess in exchange. No woman can marry and enjoy marriage except they pay him back his dowry or abstain from sex for one full year. The dowries paid on his daughters were in exchange for wealth, power and fame. Those who cannot wait for the one year must provide a virgin, 14 cow heads, 14 she goats, 21 cowries and 24 yards of white cloth for sacrifice.

While conducting her deliverance, the spirit of the goddess was summoned to release Sis Rose and her marriage. The goddess had no problem if they slept with other men asides their husbands. They could sleep with any man as far as he wasn't married to them.

Who does not know that Satan doesn't give free gift. No wonder the word of God says "The fathers have eaten a sour grape and the children's teeth are set on edge". Satan at his best gives you one and takes two. He gave wealth, power and fame to a father but took all the marriages of the daughters for all generations.

On her second year of sexual adventure, Sis Rose became sick and was admitted into the hospital. The sickness was bad and was taking her life away. One of her kidneys was gone and only a kidney transplant could save her. Who will donate a kidney to Sis Rose in a strange land? Amongst all her numerous boyfriends, no one showed up to donate his kidney to save her life. It was at this junction she realized she had been- foolish because she wanted sexual satisfaction. For the first time she called a friend to explain her ordeals and sought her help to reunite her with her family and husband.

Did she reconcile her husband? Did her husband take her back? Who donated a kidney to save her life?

Find out more in part 6.

A Story Written By Ayodele Adeoye

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MARRIED BUT NO SEX - Part 4

Bro Solo read the note with tears in his eyes. His marriage of one day just disappeared into thin air in a jiffy. 'Where could she have gone? Why didn't she give me just a little time to explain myself. Who will help me tell Sis Rose how much I love her? Who will help me tell her she's more important to me than sex?'

He put a call through to some people, first to her father. Please sir did you hear from my wife? His father-in-law was embarrassed by such a question. 'How can you ask me such a question when she's supposed to be with you? I hope nothing bad has happened to my daughter? Isn't she supposed to be with you?' He kept mum for a while until his father-in-law asked him again, 'where is my daughter?' 'She is.......' 'She is what?' The man asked with angry voice. 'Sir we had a little argument and she left the house without my knowledge.' 'Oh, is it over that issue? But you promised me you could handle it. You told me you are a Christian and your God can take care of it. I hope you haven't broken the rules?' 'No sir,' Bro Solo replied.

He tried to call other people just to know if he could have an idea about where she has gone to but everyone he called was in shock - how could a bride of barely 1 day leave her husband's house without his knowledge? Everyone, friends and family became all confused and started making contacts to know the whereabouts of Sis Rose.

His problems became more complex as calls were coming in from the hotel for him to settle the bills of his guests. They accused him of abandoning them because he couldn't leave his wife just to sort them out. His heart became bitter when he knew he had no N85,000 to settle his guests hotel bill. While he was thinking of what to do, his pastor's call came in. 'How are you Bro Solo, I hope you are back from Jerusalem now? How did you feel with your wife? I already know you felt very high. Was that your first time?' The pastor sensed something was wrong when Bro Solo did not answer any of his numerous questions. 'Bro Solo are you there?' 'Yes daddy, just that.....' 'Just that what?' 'Sir I will be coming to the office to explain to you.'

He immediately went to pastor's office. 'Sir, she has gone, your daughter has gone.' The pastor was a bit confused and he asked, 'gone to where?' While he was trying to ask further questions he gave him the note from Sis Rose. After the pastor read it he was embarrassed. You mean you didn't touch her? 'Hmmmm...... ,' Bro Solo exclaimed.

'Sir, you remember I told you I will see you immediately after our wedding?' 'Yes I remember, what is it?' 'Sir it is a long story but I will summarize everything now. My wife thought I am impotent but I am not. You think I am a virgin but I am not. I  impregnated a girl before when I was in secondary school but we lost the baby after three months.

Sis Rose have not been able to get married all this while because there is a generational tradition in her family. She lost her three sisters over this tradition after their husbands slept with them after marriage. The taboo of this tradition is that any man who marry their daughters must not have sexual intercourse with them until after one year of their marriage. Her sisters who took the tradition for granted lost their lives instantly but nothing happened to the men. This was the reason for the four hours meeting I had with her parents and the elders on our introduction day.

All the men who came to asked her hand in marriage quietly quit on hearing this terrible tradition but I gave them my word that I will stay with her for that one year without sex while we consult you for further prayers and deliverance session. How long is one year of sexual denial if it is the price for the life of my wife? Why won't I wait for one year if I could abstain from sex for 14 years. Unfortunately Sis Rose never gave me the opportunity to prove my love to her. If I had slept with her yesterday she would have been dead by now. I agreed to go into the one year marriage without sex with her because I love her.'

The pastor was dumbfounded and felt very sorry for judging him wrongly. 'How else can a man love his wife than this?'

Moral lessons;

1. Always give an opportunity for people to explain themselves regardless of the gravity of their offense.
2. Don't be quick to judge people when you don't know their intentions.
3. Don't be in hurry to quit.

What is your advice for them?

What happened next? Find out in the episode 5

A Story Written By Ayodele Adeoye

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MARRIED BUT NO SEX - Part 3

'Sis Rose, I didn't marry you because of sex, I married you because I love you. Love is the basis for our union and not sex. I didn't tell you all these because I love you with all my heart. Don't push me to sleep with you if you don't know the reason why I don't want to sleep with you. You must have been thinking of many things in your mind like; if I am impotent or over-spiritual. I am not impotent neither am I over-spiritual. I am a complete man and will prove that in no time if you are patient.

You could remember the last time we traveled to your place for our wedding introduction and the four hours meeting I had with your parents and the elders in your clan? Did you notice I came out of the meeting moody and unhappy? You remember you asked me what was it we discussed for that long without you in the meeting? You also remember I had a 30 minutes meeting with your dad later that night?' 'Yes I remember everything you mentioned', she replied. What does that have to do with you not performing your conjugal obligation as my husband? If you are not impotent, prove it now and spare me all of these questions? I am not in court neither am I facing an elders council.

The only language I understand now is Sex! Sex! Sex! And nothing but sex. When people marry, it is normal for them to be anxious to devour themselves especially if they have not done it before. What I expect you to do now is to remove my pant and bra and make me feel like a woman and not tell me stories. I didn't marry you to tell me stories, I married you so you can make me a real woman.

Since you have decided to make me unhappy at my supposed honeymoon, you will never know happiness in your life. May God give you 100 fold of the pain you have caused me on the day of my joy. The scripture says, "defraud not one another" but you have defrauded me, may God pay you back all you have done to me.' Sis Rose, while in tears rained curses on her newly wedded husband.

'Sis Rose, are you cursing me? What have I done to warrant these terrible curses you just landed on me when you have not given me room to explain myself. I wish you could be patient enough to listen to me.' She interjected him, to listen to what? Who will listen to a half-man like you? Who will listen to a man who cannot make love to his wife, 24 hours after the wedding. Who will listen to an impotent man like you? Why she was naming him and renaming him with disgusting names, his phone rang. It was a call from his guests who had waited tirelessly for him. Bro Solo where are you? This is 10 minutes to 12 noon. He checked the wall clock and he remembered if his guests stay in the hotel beyond 12 that means a full payment for a day. He picked his bunch of keys and rushed out without seeking his wife's consent anymore.

By the time he got to the hotel it was 16 minutes past 12. 'You are welcome sir the hotel clerk greeted him with a scheduled bill of N85,000 for his guests for another day. But I am here to check them out, I am sorry for coming late. As you can see I just wedded and have lots to attend to. Please cancel the bill because they are not staying any further.'

'I am sorry that is not possible sir, it's a policy we don't have control over. Even if they are not going to stay further you have to pay for exceeding the stipulated time of 12 noon.' '

O my God, this is not fair' he protested! 'But we told you before they checked in. We also stated it clearly in our guest handbook.'

He rushed back to the house to pick from the money people sprayed them at their wedding reception. He got home and found the door slightly jammed. He rushed in and went for the money bag but it was not there again. 'Where are you dear?' No response! 'Sis Rose, where are you? Where is the money bag we kept here?' The absolute silence caused him to look round the house just to see a note on his bed.

"This is to tell you I have gone for good. I cannot live with a chameleon and an impotent man like you. Don't look for me until you find solution to your impotence. I have carried my box and the money they sprayed us at the wedding. While you continue your prayer meeting, I am going to sleep with any man who is willing to make me feel like a woman. God bless you Mr prayer warrior". Rose.

Are you still guessing? Part 4 is on the way.

A Story Written By Ayodele Adeoye

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MARRIED BUT NO SEX - Part 2

'Would I supervise your spiritual life and also supervise your sexual life? Sexuality in marriage does not contaminate spirituality. Bro Solo why have you not touched your wife? I am your pastor and I have been sleeping with my wife for more than 20 years now. Prayer cannot replace sex in marriage. You are now married and licensed to have sex. Making love to your wife is no more a sin.'

'I know it is possible you are a virgin but today virginity is no longer profitable. If you don't know how to do it, I am here to teach you. You can ask me any question on sex. Sis Rose is now yours and by my authority, her parents authority and the authority of heaven you can kiss her, romance her and sleep with her as many times as is convenient for both of you. The way you rush your first meal after a long chain fasting is the same way I expect you to rush your wife. If there's any issue, you can confide in me.'

'Thank you daddy, we shall do the needful as you have counselled', Bro Solo said. After seeing the Pastor off to the other side of the road where his car was parked, the Pastor turned to the couple and said, 'Sis Rose ensure you call me later to let me know how everything goes. Bye! Bye!'

When they arrived back at their apartment, Bro Solo begged his wife to let him sort out and discharge all their guests so they could have uninterrupted time together. 'Let's do a quick one before you go, when you come back we can relax and have a nice time together.

'Why are you in hurry to have sex Sis Rose, sorry dear? How long will it take me to sort out our guests that you can't wait? Where is the self-control they've been teaching us about in church? Are we married because of sex or to fulfill God's purpose for our lives?

This is almost 24 hours we have been married, we have not discussed or done anything reasonable than sex. Must we have sex immediately after our wedding? Will the sex run away if we don't do it today? Why are you so particular about sex over other things that can add value to our lives and marriage. If we don't do it today, we can do it tomorrow.'

Sis Rose became worried and highly agitated at this time. Is there anything he is hiding from me? She thought! This is a lacuna of God's law. *"Marriage is honourable in all, and bed undefiled".* She questioned the law of God with hundreds of questions. I have kept the bed undefiled all these years, would I still stay away from the bed after marriage? Even if he is not going to make love to me, why won't he kiss me, hug me, caress me or even give peck. I want to feel like a woman but my man is a shadow of a real man.

I will not allow him go out today, the neighbours must hears us. I am going to make noise about this until third parties come to my rescue. This is no more spirituality but stupidity. 'Bro Solo, you are going nowhere until you perform your marital duty on your wife. No sex no going out today. If you step outside there, by the time you come back you won't meet me in this house again. You can't be more spiritual than the pastor, you can't be more catholic than the pope.'

'Sis Rose this is the work of the devil and we must not permit it. My spirit tells me the devil wants to capitalize on this small issue to cause problems at beginning of our marriage. We must not allow our guests to spend one more night in that hotel or else our bill will be heavy. Please let me go and settle them and I shall give you what you want. 'You will have to choose between your guests and your wife today,' Sis Rose replied him.

All the stories I have heard from my married friends on their first night are fantastic. This is a day I have patiently waited for. Why is mine like this? And tears rolled from her eyes down her cheeks. 'Sis Rose, are you crying? Why are you crying? Okay, sit down let me tell you why I have not touched you since yesterday...'

Are you still sure you can guess right? Wait until you read part 3. Your guess maybe right.

A Story Written By Ayodele Adeoye

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MARRIED BUT NO SEX - Part 1

She came in to the bedroom with her transparent night gown wearing a romantic perfume. Nobody was left at the house after a long day of felicitations and congratulations for the success of their wedding. Who would have thought Sis Rose could get married after several attempts failed at the altar of disappointment and betrayal.

Sis Rose had been into 8 relationships that never led to marriage. Getting suitors was never her problem but getting to the aisle was never realistic until she met Bro Solo. Bro Solo was a well-known brother in the choir and the dream husband of every lady as he seemed to be an example of a true Christian.

Bro Femi dated her for 18 months and jilted her because she refused him sex before marriage. Bro Ifeanyi left her after a year of relationship when he went for National Youth Service Corps at Enugu where he found Sis Chinyere. Bro Austin never gave any reason for quitting their relationship of 4 months. The history of Sis Rose's relationship journey was heartbreaking as she had dated 8 guys in 14 years.

'Bro Solo is going to leave like others, why put in the remaining pieces of my heart?', she thought. On her traditional wedding, she fainted twice for unbelief and shock that Bro Solo did not leave like other brothers.  It was a well-celebrated and well-attended wedding. Members of the choir and ushering team added colour to the day as one of their own were the celebrants of the day.

The joy and excitement that Sis Rose was leaving singles fellowship of the church at 43 made the pastor overjoyed, so much that he made Sis Rose's wedding one of the best since the inception of the church. Family and friends were not left out as they all created scenes to add colour to the day.

Family and friends stayed back and never wanted to leave them alone even at the late hour of the night. Sis Rose had jokingly told her friends to leave to allow them start their honeymoon and everyone laughed. 'Madam are you driving us?' And they laughed again. In all these Bro Solo was indifferent as to whether they left or not.

At about 11:03pm, she joined him in the bedroom ready for action of the moon. This is the day she has been looking forward to; a day she wanted to be grabbed, squeezed, cuddled and made love to. A day she will have sex and not see it as sin against God. 'Dear, I am all yours now. Do to me what wish. I am not wearing anything underneath just to give you easy access.'

'Before we are carried away with the joy of our wedding let's thank God first for all his has done for us', Bro Solo replied. And the prayer of thanksgiving turned to intercessory prayers and then to warfare prayers. After 40 minutes Bro Solo was still praying. A prayer that was already getting Sis Rose pissed up. How can we turn our honeymoon to a prayer meeting? She thought within herself. She couldn't stop the prayer meeting because the tempo of the prayers increased by the minute. At about 12:29am she dosed off and went into a deep sleep. That night they missed the first flight!

Before Sis Rose could wake up by 6:30am, Bro Solo was already dressed up to meet an appointment for 7am in order to secure bus ticket for some of their guests who were slated to go with the first bus. 'Where are you going to this early that you are already dressed up?' she quarreled her husband. 'But we didn't make love last night being our first night together. Before you go out this morning, you must make love to me.' Dear, I am sorry that cannot happen now as I need to meet up for this appointment by 7am. I will make it up to you when I come back.

Sis Rose was not going to take no for an answer that morning. She jammed the door and held the keys "You are not going out this morning until you make love to me"! She called the pastor, "Hello sir, you need to make to our house now or else...."

The pastor quickly diverted from his way to his office to their house. 'What could warrant this distress call from the newest couple?' he thought within himself.

Why do you think Bro Solo is not sleeping with his wife? Find out in part 2

A Story Written By Ayodele Adeoye

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WHO TO MARRY

In life, one of the most important choice you will need to make is who to marry. This choice is so important that if you miss it, you will suffer for long, if you get it right then you will enjoy forever.
A bad marriage can affect every other area of your life. This subject is so important to the
extent that so many married people are hoping to be single again so as to be able to make the right choice all over again. If you are single please don't just be in a hurry to get married, because you still have the best opportunity to prepare for it.
For two people to come together to live in peace and harmony, they must agree spiritually, mentally and physically. Just like an elephant cannot marry an ant so also a believer cannot marry an unbeliever. If an elephant marries an ant how would they live, if a goat marries a fish where would they meet?
You must look for a sincere and righteous man or a sincere and righteous woman to marry, nothing can beat this. The devil's primary target is the family. He knows that everyone belongs to a family and if he can bring two wrong people together in marriage, then he will succeed in breaking the community ties and the nation down as a whole, and this is part of what we're witnessing all over the world presently.
Ignore your age and the pressure for a moment, the pressure in a wrong marriage is far worse. God has somebody for you but you must set your priorities right. What do you need in a woman? What do you need in a man?
Marriage is not about what you want, it is about who you need, that will make you better while you make him better, it's not something you just jump into. That is why you must know your purpose before you get married. You must pray before you choose.
God knows the best person for you, it is only wise to seek His will. It is very easy to know God's will when sex is not involved. The moment sex is involved and you want to know His will then He will blank you out. Why? Because you have broken His first Law of NO SEX before marriage. If you have had sex in the past then you need to repent totally and stay away from each other, then you can seek forgiveness from God. Your marriage will not be hell on earth. Your marriage will be honourable.
Don't marry for sex, don't marry because you are of age, don't marry because you are getting old, don't marry because you are lonely, don't marry because you need someone to support you financially, don't marry because you mistakenly got pregnant, don't marry because you don't want to lose the person, don't marry because of family pressures, don't marry because you like the idea of marriage and admire every wedding gown you see, don't marry because all your friends are getting married.
But get married because you want to fulfill what God has ordained on every child of him Get married because you want to be a help mate, but most of all, because you want to fulfil a purpose of having completed half of your religion, your deen. God will help you in
choosing, please let's all continue to pray fervently to God for all we want.
He loves us so dearly and He will answer all our duas and supplications at the right time.

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Very last track

Every Sunday afternoon, after the morning service at the church, the Pastor and his eleven year old son would go out into their town and hand out Gospel Tracts.

This particular Sunday afternoon, as it came time for the Pastor and his son to go to the streets with their tracts, it was very cold outside, as well as pouring rain.

The boy bundled up in his warmest and driest clothes and said, 'OK, dad, I'm ready.'

His Pastor dad asked, 'Ready for what?'

'Dad, it's time we gather our tracts together and go out.'

Dad responds, 'Son, it's very cold outside and it's pouring rain.'

The boy gives his dad a surprised look, asking, 'But Dad, aren't people still going to Hell, even though it's raining?'

Dad answers, 'Son, I am not going out in this weather.'

Despondently, the boy asks, 'Dad, can I go? Please?'

His father hesitated for a moment then said, 'Son, you can go. Here are the tracts, be careful son..'

'Thanks Dad!'

And with that, he was off and out into the rain.. This eleven year old boy walked the streets of the town going door to door and handing everybody he met in the street a Gospel Tract .

After two hours of walking in the rain, he was soaking, bone-chilled wet and down to his VERY LAST TRACT. He stopped on a corner and looked for someone to hand a tract to, but the streets were totally deserted. Then he turned toward the first home he saw and started up the sidewalk to the front door and rang the door bell. He rang the bell, but nobody answered.

He rang it again and again, but still no one answered.. He waited but still no answer.

Finally, this eleven year old trooper turned to leave, but something stopped him.

Again, he turned to the door and rang the bell and knocked loudly on the door with his fist. He waited, something holding him there on the front porch!

He rang again and this time the door slowly opened.

Standing in the doorway was a very sad-looking elderly lady. She softly asked, 'What can I do for you, son?' With radiant eyes and a smile that lit up her world, this little boy said, 'Ma'am, I'm sorry if I disturbed you, but I just want to tell you that JESUS REALLY DOES LOVE YOU and I came to give you my very last Gospel Tract which will tell you all about JESUS and His great LOVE.'

With that, he handed her his last tract and turned to leave.

She called to him as he departed. 'Thank you, son! And God Bless You!'

Well, the following Sunday morning in church Pastor Dad was in the pulpit. As the service began, he asked, 'Does anybody have testimony or want to say anything?'

Slowly, in the back row of the church, an elderly lady stood to her feet.

As she began to speak, a look of glorious radiance came from her face, 'No one in this church knows me. I've never been here before. You see, before last Sunday I was not a Christian. My husband passed on some time ago, leaving me totally alone in this world. Last Sunday, being a particularly cold and rainy day, it was even more so in my heart that I came to the end of the line where I no longer had any hope or will to live.

So I took a rope and a chair and ascended the stairway into the attic of my home. I fastened the rope securely to a rafter in the roof, then stood on the chair and fastened the other end of the rope around my neck. Standing on that chair, so lonely and broken-hearted I was about to leap off, when suddenly the loud ringing of my doorbell downstairs startled me. I thought, 'I'll wait a minute, and whoever it is will go away.'

I waited and waited, but the ringing doorbell seemed to get louder and more insistent, and then the person ringing also started knocking loudly...

I thought to myself again, 'Who on earth could this be?

Nobody ever

rings my bell or comes to see me.' I loosened the rope from my neck and started for the front door, all the while the bell rang louder and louder.

When I opened the door and looked I could hardly believe my eyes, for there on my front porch was the most radiant and angelic little boy I had ever seen in my life. His SMILE, oh, I could never describe it to you!

The words that came from his mouth caused my heart that had long been dead, TO LEAP TO LIFE as he exclaimed with a cherub-like voice, 'Ma'am, I just came to tell you that JESUS REALLY DOES LOVE YOU .'

Then he gave me this Gospel Tract that I now hold in my hand..

As the little angel disappeared back out into the cold and rain, I closed my door and read slowly every word of this Gospel Tract. Then I went up to my attic to get my rope and chair. I wouldn't be needing them any more.

You see-- -I am now a Happy Child of the KING. Since the address of your church was on the back of this Gospel Tract, I have come here to personally say THANK YOU to God's little angel who came just in the nick of time and by so doing, spared my soul from an eternity in hell..'

There was not a dry eye in the church. And as shouts of praise and honor to THE KING resounded off the very rafters of the building, Pastor Dad descended from the pulpit to the front pew where the little angel was seated....

He took his son in his arms and sobbed uncontrollably.

Probably no church has had a more glorious moment, and probably this universe has never seen a Papa that was more filled with love & honor for his son.... Except for One.

Blessed are your eyes for reading this message.

Don't let this message die, read it again and pass it to others. Heaven is for His people!

Remember, God's message CAN make the difference in the life of someone close to you.

Please share this wonderful message...

If you love JESUS, please forward this message.

Spread His word, and share His goodness and faithfulness.

Matthew 10:32 says:

'Whoever acknowledges Me before men, I will acknowledge him before My Father in heaven. But whoever disowns Me before men, I will disown him before My Father in heaven

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AVOIDING A BAD MARRIAGE

After salvation, the most important choice you will need to make is who to marry. This choice is so important that if you miss it, you will suffer for long, if you get it right then you will enjoy forever. A bad marriage can affect every other area of your life.

This subject is so important, so many married people are hoping to be single again so as to make the right choice. If you are single please
don't just be in a hurry to get married, you have the best opportunity to prepare for it.

For two people to come together to live in peace and harmony, they must agree spiritually, mentally and physically. Just like an elephant cannot marry an ant so also a believer cannot marry an unbeliever. If an elephant marries an ant how
would they live, if a goat marries a fish where would they meet? You must look for a Godly man or a Godly woman to marry, nothing can beat this. The devil's primary target is the family. He knows that everyone belongs to a family and if he can make two wrong people meet then he has succeeded affecting the community and nations negatively. Ignore your age and the pressure for a moment, the pressure in a wrong marriage is far worse.

God has somebody for you but you must set your priorities right. What do you need in a woman? What do you need in a man?

Marriage is not about what you want, it is about who you need, that will make you better while you make him better. It is about destiny. That is why you must know your purpose before you get married. Genesis 2:18.

You must pray before you choose. God knows the best person for you, it is only wise to seek His will. It is very easy to know God's will when sex is not involved. The moment sex is involved and you want to know His will then He will blank you out. Why? Because you have broken His first Law of NO SEX before marriage. If you have had sex in the past then you need to repent totally and stay away from each other for sometime then you can seek the face of God. Your marriage will not be hell on earth. Your marriage will be honourable in the name of Jesus Christ.

Don't marry for sex, don't marry because you are of age, don't marry because you are getting old, don't marry because you are lonely, don't marry because you need someone to support you financially, don't marry because you mistakenly got pregnant, don't marry because you don't want to lose the person, don't marry because of family pressures, don't marry because you like the idea of marriage and admire every wedding gown you see, don't marry because all your friends are getting married. But get married because you want to fulfil destiny. Get married because you want to be a help mate. As a man, get married because you want to fulfill your purpose. God will help you in choosing, please let His will be done. Amen!!

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19 WAYS TO FIX YOUR WIFE - BEFORE /WHEN SHE IS FALLING APART!

Your wife can be dying in silence while still performing her wifely duties.

you will need to know her to know when she needs to be fixed.

When a woman is always moody, cries a lot, yells on Children, can easily sleep or sleeps a lot, she may be battling with something you are not careful enough to see.

A real man will not allow his wife to fall apart without fixing her and making her better and happy.

If you discover your wife is falling apart, watch out and fix the following:

1. CHECK IF YOU ARE THE PROBLEM

You might be her problem, but out of her respect and love for you, she may not tell you. Ask, let her talk sincerely

2. BE AWARE OF HER RESPONSIBILITIES

Get to know how her work load is killing her. Regardless of whether she stays at home or goes to work, do you know what she does all day? If you don’t, ask her. Her to-do list is probably overflowing with tasks that far outweighs her time and energy.

3. BE APPRECIATIVE

Be mindful of her needs and appreciative of her sacrifices. The work a woman does at home can be too common that nobody will appreciate her for them, this can be killing her. Appreciate your wife

4. GET INVOLVED BEFORE SHE BURNS OUT

Don’t just be appreciative, but get involved. The best time to begin helping your wife is now. Don’t wait until she breaks down to offer a helping hand.

5. GET MACHINE

Get all the machine needed for her work at home (the ones you can afford). Dish washer, gas cooker, refrigerator, oven, laundering Machine etc

6. BE AN ACTIVE PARTICIPANT

Be totally involved at home, stop delegating parenting and family life. Don’t be a “visiting Professor”, be an active partner in this business of your life. It takes two to parent. It takes two to make a marriage work. It takes two to run a household. Be fully involved in every aspect of your family life.

7. HOLD HER

Hold her like a lover and a friend. Place your hands on her shoulder, her laps, hold her hands, just hold her and let her feel you.

8. JUST LISTEN

Men are known to be good talker but very bad listeners. At times what your wife needs is for you to just listen. Do not interrupt, let her unburden, let her talk. Sometimes the best way for a woman to reset is by getting all of her thoughts out. Let your wife talk through her feelings and problems. Show empathy. Listen carefully. Ask questions. Be fully engaged in the conversation.

9. BE A PARTNER NOT A TEACHER

Most men do fall into the “Teaching trap” when they are supposed to be a partner, showing love and consideration. Do not blame, just be there for her. Just listen. That’s all you need to do. And if she wants you to offer solutions, she’ll ask for them

10. GIVE HER HOPE

No matter what happens, don’t ever raise up your hands in surrender. Giving up, crying or weeping will hurt your wife more. Encourage her. Let her know what you love about her. Help her see the good in any situation. Avoid being critical or negative. When she has hit the rock bottom, be the man who lifts her up, and brings light and hope back into her life.

11. BE SENSITIVE

Get to know her mood, get to know her needs, get to know what is needed to be done at home and do them without prompting

Learn the art of looking around the house and finding things that need to get done. Are there dishes in the sink? What is broken that needs to be fixed? Don’t wait to be asked. Just do it!

12. PRAY FOR HER

Take your time off to pray for her, hand her over to her maker who knows the deepest need of her heart . Let God fix her, you can’t do it.

Let God know what you appreciate about her. Ask for his help. Ask him to tell you how you can be a better spouse to her. Ask him to comfort her and help her see herself as He sees her.

13. PRAY WITH HER

Don’t just pray for your wife, find time to pray with her, hug her as you pray together, hold her hands, just talk to your maker together.

14. ASK HER HOW YOU CAN BE OF HELP

Your wife knows what you can do to help her reset, so just ask her. She will open up to you, it may not be what you think, so don’t speculate, ask, She’ll appreciate it more than you will ever know.

15. HELP AROUND THE HOUSE

Give a helping hand around the house. Give her a kitchen holiday for some days, do all the cooking or hire somebody to do it for you. Let her just sit, eat and rest, this may be all she needs,

16. TAKE HER OUT

Take her out, eat out, go to the cinema, go to wherever she will love to go, not where you want, just follow her.

17. ALLOW HER TO CRY,IF SHE MUST

“Stop crying, are you a baby?, will you be crying about this little thing?”

This is what most nude earning husband will do when their wives cry, what an insensitive word. If she feels like crying, hold her to yourself and let her do the crying while you pat her on the back. It’s a great way to fix the problem.

18. LET HER GO ON HOLIDAY

Allow her to go on holiday all alone to herself, this can fix the problem as she returns with greater energy.

19. CELEBRATE HER

Let your wife be celebrated. Celebrate her in secret and in public. Talk about her beauty, motherhood, wifehood, support, thoughtfulness. This will make her day.

Let all the men read and apply....

Let the women read and pass to the men......especially their husbands

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THINGS THAT MATTERS IN RELATIONSHIP

I have discovered that love doesn't guarantee the success of a relationship. Love cannot help you stick to one person all years round, and on the other hand, cheating isn't always a product of not
loving your partner. In fact, loving someone doesn't guarantee not falling in love with any other person.
Relationships work out mostly because of our head not our heart, it work out because of our emotional maturity, empathetic intelligence and self discipline because time will come when you'll see more beautiful, handsome, romantic,intelligent, sexy, rich, curvy and God fearing people than the one you're in a relationship with. In those times, love will not help you, self control will help you, emotional intelligence will come to your rescue, commitment will keep you going. With those characteristics, no matter how you feel for someone else, the person you're committed to will rank first in your life.
You think happily married people don't see better people than the ones they married? You think they don't feel funny sometimes? You think they don't catch feelings? They do! But understanding that commitment is greater than feelings is the great arsenal that do destroy that impulse. You can fall in love with anyone, but building a relationship takes absolutely more than what attracted you to them. It takes more than love.
We are too fond of loving when it's convenient, when it's sweet. We are too fond of loving when love is there but that can only last for just the first 3-6 months of the relationship. After then, you'll realise that the feelings have dropped, it's now your responsibility to make it work, not love's responsibility.
Relationships cannot be readymade. You have to build it and it's never always about love, it requires commitment, it requires intelligent. On the long run in marriages, it's not just love that keeps them together forever, it's determination and commitment. Everyone fall in love, it takes little or no effort to do that. But staying in love, Building a relationship, Only the strong and committed ones do that. That's why we must find that one person and commit to that one, Discipline yourself, bridle your emotions. Building a relationship is hard work, it's like building a career, It's like pursuing a dream. It's always tough, at some point it will be so bitter but you can make it work by putting your heads together, you can scale through the trying time by being focus and committed. The kind of love that attracts two people together is not the kind of love that will keep them together.
Be emotionally strong! Be self disciplined.
Sticking to one person is not natural, you must develop yourself to do that. It works great and perfect with people of like minds, people of the same believes, people that share the same school of thought.

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MARRIED BUT NO SEX - Part 2

A Story Written By Ayodele Adeoye

'Would I supervise your spiritual life and also supervise your sexual life? Sexuality in marriage does not contaminate spirituality. Bro Solo why have you not touched your wife? I am your pastor and I have been sleeping with my wife for more than 20 years now. Prayer cannot replace sex in marriage. You are now married and licensed to have sex. Making love to your wife is no more a sin.'

'I know it is possible you are a virgin but today virginity is no longer profitable. If you don't know how to do it, I am here to teach you. You can ask me any question on sex. Sis Rose is now yours and by my authority, her parents authority and the authority of heaven you can kiss her, romance her and sleep with her as many times as is convenient for both of you. The way you rush your first meal after a long chain fasting is the same way I expect you to rush your wife. If there's any issue, you can confide in me.'

'Thank you daddy, we shall do the needful as you have counselled', Bro Solo said. After seeing the Pastor off to the other side of the road where his car was parked, the Pastor turned to the couple and said, 'Sis Rose ensure you call me later to let me know how everything goes. Bye! Bye!'

When they arrived back at their apartment, Bro Solo begged his wife to let him sort out and discharge all their guests so they could have uninterrupted time together. 'Let's do a quick one before you go, when you come back we can relax and have a nice time together.

'Why are you in hurry to have sex Sis Rose, sorry dear? How long will it take me to sort out our guests that you can't wait? Where is the self-control they've been teaching us about in church? Are we married because of sex or to fulfill God's purpose for our lives?

This is almost 24 hours we have been married, we have not discussed or done anything reasonable than sex. Must we have sex immediately after our wedding? Will the sex run away if we don't do it today? Why are you so particular about sex over other things that can add value to our lives and marriage. If we don't do it today, we can do it tomorrow.'

Sis Rose became worried and highly agitated at this time. Is there anything he is hiding from me? She thought! This is a lacuna of God's law. *"Marriage is honourable in all, and bed undefiled".* She questioned the law of God with hundreds of questions. I have kept the bed undefiled all these years, would I still stay away from the bed after marriage? Even if he is not going to make love to me, why won't he kiss me, hug me, caress me or even give peck. I want to feel like a woman but my man is a shadow of a real man.

I will not allow him go out today, the neighbours must hears us. I am going to make noise about this until third parties come to my rescue. This is no more spirituality but stupidity. 'Bro Solo, you are going nowhere until you perform your marital duty on your wife. No sex no going out today. If you step outside there, by the time you come back you won't meet me in this house again. You can't be more spiritual than the pastor, you can't be more catholic than the pope.'

'Sis Rose this is the work of the devil and we must not permit it. My spirit tells me the devil wants to capitalize on this small issue to cause problems at beginning of our marriage. We must not allow our guests to spend one more night in that hotel or else our bill will be heavy. Please let me go and settle them and I shall give you what you want. 'You will have to choose between your guests and your wife today,' Sis Rose replied him.

All the stories I have heard from my married friends on their first night are fantastic. This is a day I have patiently waited for. Why is mine like this? And tears rolled from her eyes down her cheeks. 'Sis Rose, are you crying? Why are you crying? Okay, sit down let me tell you why I have not touched you since yesterday...'

Are you still sure you can guess right? Wait until you read part 3. Your guess maybe right.

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MARRIED BUT NO SEX - Part 1

A Story Written By Ayodele Adeoye

She came in to the bedroom with her transparent night gown wearing a romantic perfume. Nobody was left at the house after a long day of felicitations and congratulations for the success of their wedding. Who would have thought Sis Rose could get married after several attempts failed at the altar of disappointment and betrayal.

Sis Rose had been into 8 relationships that never led to marriage. Getting suitors was never her problem but getting to the aisle was never realistic until she met Bro Solo. Bro Solo was a well-known brother in the choir and the dream husband of every lady as he seemed to be an example of a true Christian.

Bro Femi dated her for 18 months and jilted her because she refused him sex before marriage. Bro Ifeanyi left her after a year of relationship when he went for National Youth Service Corps at Enugu where he found Sis Chinyere. Bro Austin never gave any reason for quitting their relationship of 4 months. The history of Sis Rose's relationship journey was heartbreaking as she had dated 8 guys in 14 years.

'Bro Solo is going to leave like others, why put in the remaining pieces of my heart?', she thought. On her traditional wedding, she fainted twice for unbelief and shock that Bro Solo did not leave like other brothers.  It was a well-celebrated and well-attended wedding. Members of the choir and ushering team added colour to the day as one of their own were the celebrants of the day.

The joy and excitement that Sis Rose was leaving singles fellowship of the church at 43 made the pastor overjoyed, so much that he made Sis Rose's wedding one of the best since the inception of the church. Family and friends were not left out as they all created scenes to add colour to the day.

Family and friends stayed back and never wanted to leave them alone even at the late hour of the night. Sis Rose had jokingly told her friends to leave to allow them start their honeymoon and everyone laughed. 'Madam are you driving us?' And they laughed again. In all these Bro Solo was indifferent as to whether they left or not.

At about 11:03pm, she joined him in the bedroom ready for action of the moon. This is the day she has been looking forward to; a day she wanted to be grabbed, squeezed, cuddled and made love to. A day she will have sex and not see it as sin against God. 'Dear, I am all yours now. Do to me what wish. I am not wearing anything underneath just to give you easy access.'

'Before we are carried away with the joy of our wedding let's thank God first for all his has done for us', Bro Solo replied. And the prayer of thanksgiving turned to intercessory prayers and then to warfare prayers. After 40 minutes Bro Solo was still praying. A prayer that was already getting Sis Rose pissed up. How can we turn our honeymoon to a prayer meeting? She thought within herself. She couldn't stop the prayer meeting because the tempo of the prayers increased by the minute. At about 12:29am she dosed off and went into a deep sleep. That night they missed the first flight!

Before Sis Rose could wake up by 6:30am, Bro Solo was already dressed up to meet an appointment for 7am in order to secure bus ticket for some of their guests who were slated to go with the first bus. 'Where are you going to this early that you are already dressed up?' she quarreled her husband. 'But we didn't make love last night being our first night together. Before you go out this morning, you must make love to me.' Dear, I am sorry that cannot happen now as I need to meet up for this appointment by 7am. I will make it up to you when I come back.

Sis Rose was not going to take no for an answer that morning. She jammed the door and held the keys "You are not going out this morning until you make love to me"! She called the pastor, "Hello sir, you need to make to our house now or else...."

The pastor quickly diverted from his way to his office to their house. 'What could warrant this distress call from the newest couple?' he thought within himself.

Why do you think Bro Solo is not sleeping with his wife? Find out in part 2

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DON'T DATE IF YOU ARE NOT READY FOR MARRIAGE

Are you in a relationship or dating someone now when you know you are not ready for marriage? One of the reasons why many people end up in bad marriages is because they started dating at a time they were not ready for marriage; but because they had dated this person for so long, they felt obliged to marry them. Knowing it wasn't what they desired, they prayed and hoped things would get better. Some people are so clueless as to what love and marriage is; thinking once you start experiencing nice feelings for someone it means they are in love, and anyone they fall in love with will automatically become their spouse. This is why many singles fight to hold on to bad relationships, trying all their best to change others, but refusing to change the person they have power to change which is they themselves. The bible says in Matthew 22:14 (MSG) ‘Many get invited; only a few make it". In other words many people will tell you I love you but only a few truly love you. Lots will promise you marriage but only a few will attempt carrying it out. Many see you as a want but a few see you as a need. Many might like your company but a few will enjoy your madness. To have a successful marriage, feelings are not enough; readiness matters. It's like having the needed knowledge to get a job done but lacking the required tools. You only become frustrated at the end of the day. If you like someone, their smiles, look, tribe, profession, it doesn't automatically mean they are your prefect partner therefore you must hook them down else you risk losing them. You can choose to spend all the time with them, just to get married to them in the future, but later realize this wasn't what you wanted or needed. The Marriage journey is not about who you have been with but about who you end up with. As at now, because you are not ready for marriage, your heart doesn't know what it really wants until you are ready. The confusion, pains, frustration set in when you are ready and find what you need but realize you are hooked up with what you don't need. There is a reason why God hid Eve from Adam until he was ready for marriage. So please stop accepting proposals whose outcome you don't know; don't go for fights that you are not prepared for. Don't date anyone when deep within, you know you are not ready for marriage. Don’t let someone who is ready for marriage push you into it, knowing you are not ready. You are the steward of your life and you will surely give an account to your Creator one day. So I plead with you to take full responsibility for every condition in your life including marriage. Learn to say "NO" without explaining yourself. "Yes, each of us will give an account of himself to God" - Romans 14:12 (TLB).

In conclusion "Imagine! His left hand cradling my head, his right arm around my waist! Oh, let me warn you, sisters in Jerusalem: Don’t excite love, don’t stir it up, until the time is ripe—and you’re ready" - Song of Solomon 8:4 (MSG).

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HOW TO HANDLE /MAINTAIN A LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP

Communication BUT not excessive communication - it is unwise to be overdo, sticky and possessive. You don't have to communicate 24 hours a day to keep the relationship going. Many couples thought that they need excess communication, this is not true. It might make things worse. Remember less is more. It is not about spamming - you are only going to exhaust yourselves. It's really testing at the right moment & tugging at the right spots

See it as an opportunity - IF YOU WANT TO LIVE TOGETHER, YOU FIRST NEED TO LEARN HOW TO LIVE APART
view it as a test of your love for each other. As the saying goes, real gold us not afraid of test of fire instead of thinking that this long distance relationship is pulling you two apart, you should believe that through this experience the both of you will be bound together even strong

Set some ground rules - Both of you need to have clear with what you expect of with each other during this period. Set some rules so that one will not do things that will take the other party by surprise. For instance are you two exclusive? Is it alright for the other person to go on date? What Is your commitment level? It is better to be open with each other about all these things to keep the relationship going

Try to communicate regularly & creatively - greet each other good morning and good night everyday, this is a must. On top of that, try to update your partner on your life and it's happening, however mundane some of the things may seem. To up the game, send each other pictures, audio clips, short video from time to time. By putting in this kind of effort, you make the other person feel loved and attended to

Talk dirty with each other  - this simply means be romantic to each other by giving pets names, expressing feelings of each other, open your mouth to say you love him or her, expressing how you always feel when talking to each other, you can even say you want him or her now now.

Do things together - i love this aspect so much. Playing an online games together, watch a documentary on YouTube  or films at the same time, sing to each other on call or video chat, take a walk together outside while video calling each other, go online shopping together  and buy each other gift online too.... Lol. You really have to be creative and spontaneous about it

Make visit to each other - visit are the highlight of every long distance relationship.  After all the waiting and yearning and abstinence, you finally got to meet each other to fulfil all the saying, affections etc. It will be like firework, glitter bombs, confelt, rainbows and butterflies to everyone around

Have a goal in mind - goals like what do we want to achieve at the end of the day? How long are we going to be apart? What about the future? These are the questions you need to ask yourselves. The truth is no couple can be in long distance relationship forever,  eventually we all need to settle down
Stay honest with each other - talk about your feelings of fear, insecurity, jealousy, apathy, whatsoever.  Don't try to deal with things yourself. Be open and honest with each other. Let your partner help you and give you the support you need. It's better to look at the problem during it's initial stage than to only disclose it when it's all too late
Learn how to ask good questions and listen well - This is very important and am good at this. Ask your partner what you need to know, by doing this you will gat to know things about him or her very well. Learn to listen carefully to your partner and good questions.
Learn more about how you both approach conflict - conflict is inevitable in relationship but being in a long distance relationship make managing conflict well even more difficult. Learn some basic conflict management strategies and discuss them with your partner before you find yourself mid-fight

Controlling of jealousy - feeling a little jealous and again is not unusual in long distance relationship. However uncontrolled jealousy can lead to destructive condemnation of suspicion, possessiveness, insecurity, anger and shame. If you are feeling jealous figure out how to control your jealousy before it start to control you. It's not easy but it can be done
Laugh together - it's a great to talk about the deep stuff but make sure you keep it light sometimes too. Share things with each other that can make you laugh together
Keep your parnter in your mind alway - we have all heard the saying " absence can make the heart grow fonder but its also true that absence can make the mind go wander" make sure you have some reminders of your partner around perhaps put their photo on your desktop or tape it to your mirror, drink out
Prayers - i can't forget that prayer is the key to every successful relationship today. Pray together, fast together infact worship together

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BASIC TIPS FOR THE GUY WHO WANTS TO GET MARRIED

Back in the days there was a friend of mine who proposed to the lady he wanted to marry.
He invited a group of friends and made a very dramatic proposal, falling on one knee like Lancelot he looked up at this girl (Boyz 2 Men's "On Bended Knee" was uncoincidentally playing in the background) and pledged his undying love with a little box he handed her.

She was all teary eyed as she opened it and lo and behold she saw and then displayed to all and sundry an engagement ring and the keys to a brand new car.

The "yes" that came out from her mouth in acquiescence must have set new decibel levels as she screamed in excitement and he swept her off her feet while all the girls present were fanning themselves with their hands while simultaneously choking on their emotions at this "romantic display of love".

We could almost literally see Cupid's Arrow in the air.

But I have been around and seen a little, so while everyone (admittedly just the ladies) were trying to catch their breath I was thinking in my head how everything would play out.

Suffice it to say they got married shortly after with pomp and ceremony, but it was the happenstances of the immediate aftermath that interested me.

After the wedding we thought Bros Lancelot would carry his Guinevere to his palace but alas it was straight to his friend's house where he was squatting.

After a few months the creditors showed up to collect the money he borrowed to buy the brand new car, and from that point it was one "gbese" after the other.

As I speak the marriage has been dissolved after years of intractable crises.

It all began by majoring on the minors and minoring on the majors.

I did say when I addressed the ladies yesterday- "spend more time and resources preparing for the marriage than for the wedding."

That piece of advice swings both ways.

There was this other chap that came to see me who was dating a girl I knew, and so she asked him to see me first as he said he wanted to marry her and she trusted my judgment.
As I got talking to him to know the sort of person he was somewhere in our conversation he dropped a shell.

He said "my daddy has not been good to me."

I was first taken aback at how a grown man would use "daddy" so freely in a conversation but I took it in and asked just how his "daddy" had not been good to him.

He replied that his father hadn't sent him money for his upkeep in a while.

I asked him how old he was and he said "27 years old".

It took me all my willpower not to unload my mind on him, so all I asked was, "At your age is your dad meant to be sending you money or are you meant to be sending him money?"

I continued "Do you realise Gowon was just 2 or so years older than you when he became Head of State? You want your daddy to send you money for upkeep at 27 but you have already grabbed someone's daughter"

At that I promptly sent him away .

Guys listen, if you want to get married you must remember some basic things.

You must first have discovered your identity and gotten a sense of purpose before you take someone's daughter to the altar.

The Bible calls the woman a "help" for the man.
Have you ever heard of anyone who helps another person do nothing?

You have no business going to marry a woman when you have not defined your direction in life.

You should think beyond the rotundity of her posterior and the perkiness of her anterior before you get married.

Get ahold of yourself and put your life in order before looking for a life companion.
If you don't know where you are headed to how can you take someone else on the journey?

Get accommodation before you get a wife.
Adam had the Garden of Eden before Eve showed up so don't take someone's child to go squat somewhere.

And most importantly, get a J-O-B. No matter how small.

Get a source of income and stop telling us only about your character and what you intend to accomplish.
Get up and do something, mere intentions are insufficient. Nobody builds a reputation on what he intends to do.

Before you talk about getting married make sure you can put food on the table.
Especially for our Christian men  out there, stop telling us how much character you have.

Character doesn't pay the bills, and unless you intend to feed your family with the fruit of the Spirit it also cannot fill hungry stomachs.

Get wise and get cracking.

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MARRY A WIFE NOT A VIRGIN

Some guys think virginity makes a good wife. Virginity is a pride to a woman. After your first copulation, it will exist no more. So don't marry because she is a virgin, marry because she's a wife . A good wife,is a crown of the husband. Seek that good wife. Womanhood is a cycle: daughter to wife to mother. Any lady who fails as a daughter is a mistake for a wife. Because a lady is trained as a daughter to become the crown of her husband. Marrying a virgin is a pride but it does not guarantee successful marriage. Seek the good qualities that make a woman a wife. To those of u guy who are single, find a wife, I mean a good wife. Don't ruin your marriage for the want of a virgin.
#virginity does not guarantee a successful marriage.... And for the virgins acquire the good Qualities of a wife, don't make that pride you kept so long to the last day become a waste.

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O Lord, Where is Mr Perfect?

“I am really tired of praying to God”

“Hey, don’t say that, Susan!”

“I will say it again and again.”

“But why? You are beautiful, you are active in church and everything seems to be going on well.”

“Na beauty I go chop?” Beautiful and yet husbandless at thirty-five?”

“God has a man for you”

“Where is the man? And when will the man come?”

“Just be patient and be prayerful.”

“Shebi, you are already married, cooling off in your husbands home, with a romantic six-packed man to rest your naughty head on every night, while I am speaking in tongues alone on cold nights with no one in sight”

“Sister Susan!”

“Sister Joy!”

“What about Brother David?”

“It is you that will marry Brother David!”

“Ah! What happened to Brother David?”

“You came to church this morning in a Toyota Lexus right?”

“Yes”

“So, I should go and marry Brother David so that I can improve on all the trekking I have done in the last thirty-five years? So that my name can enter Guinness Book of Record for The trekker of all times, abi?”

"Ha!"

"You no know say the trek wey I don trek for this world, e no get part 2?"

“You can make somebody laugh”

“How will you not laugh?” Please, don’t talk about Brother David o?”

“But my husband didn't have a car when we married.”

“I don’t have that patience.”

“Ok, what about Brother Godwin? He asked you out and he has a car?

“That one? That bush man? He cannot even pronounce the name of his car well. He is out of it.”

“Brother James also asked you out. That one nko ?”

“Brother James is too spiritual for me. He doesn't know more than quoting Bible and praying in the Holy Ghost. I am not sure I will ever get to see a movie if I marry him.”

“Tee Boy also asked you out. He is not as spiritual.”

“Ah, that choir boy who has toasted every lady in church? He is too carnal for me.”

”What about Deacon Joshua, you said he asked you out as well?

“That one doesn't have money joor” Is it only preaching we will be eating after marriage?”

“Uhmmm…”Who else asked you out?”

“Brother Tomi, he is too short."

“But it is not in heights?”

“Why is your own husband tall?”

“Susan!”

“Brother Bode also asked me out, but his mouth is too sharp, he talks too much like somebody that has mouth diarrhoea!” Brother Tola is too tall, and he is bent over like somebody that is sick. I cannot marry him.” Brother Chiefo is too old for me. He is nearly forty-five. I am not sure if he is a real man.

Brother Sanmi is too busy with playing keyboard. He will not have time for me. Brother Bubu is okay but the way he smiles reminds me of my primary school teacher that nearly killed me with beating. Mr. Tony is an ideal man, but the way I see him, he will turn me into a housewife. Brother Steve said he wants to become a pastor, I cannot marry a pastor.

Brother Faith seems to like women a lot, I cannot be competing with other ladies in my matrimonial home. Brother Eze is okay, but his bow leg is a concern. Mr. Smith would have been it, but the way he walks like a village man will not befit my destiny. Brother Love is too dark, like God forgot him in the oven or something like that. Mr. Scoot is too light, if both of us are light, will our children not become albinos? And Mr…..”

“It’s okay. I have heard enough.”

“They are still many o…”

“I have heard enough to make my conclusions.”

“What are your conclusions, Madam teacher!”

“You are not ready for marriage!”

“How can you say that? With all my prayer and vigils?”

“You are looking for the perfect man. You will never get one.”

“Are you not the people that say we should not marry an unbeliever or just anybody?”

“Are all these people you mentioned unbelievers?” You see, Mr-perfect does not exist!”

“So, what should I pray for?”

“Pray for God’s will. Pray for God’s perfect will for you. God’s perfect will is not always a Mr. Prefect!”

“What if he doesn't look handsome enough?”

“What if he looks dashing and handsome and after wedding, after you have fed him well, he departs from your definition of handsome and six packs become six months pregnancy? Will you divorce him?”
“So, how do I choose now?”

“First, know that God will never lead you wrong.”

“Secondly, it is only God that knows the one you will love now and will still love in another fifty years.”

“Thirdly, your brain is not designed to know the best spouse for you, Only God can help you decide who is the best person that is not only physically dashing but also spiritually prepared for your destiny.”

“Fourthly, stop looking for inadequacies, look out for God’s direction.”

“Fifthly, if he is born again and filled with the Holy Spirit, with no character flaws or habitual sins, the only thing that remains is God’s leading.”

“So, ask God to lead you. Ask him to help you. Ask for the leading of the Holy Spirit. He is the helper. He knows the best for you.”

“Wow!”

“Stop using your brain to judge!”

“What if God shows someone to me and he is not physically attractive?”

“God is intelligent. He is not an author of confusion. God is love and He will never lead you to someone you hate and loathe. On the contrary, it is your feelings that can deceive you that you are in love with someone that you will really hate tomorrow!”

“I understand now! "

“So I could have missed my man?”

“Possibly, but all hope is not lost. You just need to get back in God, trust His direction and He will have mercy on you! “

"But in all of these, know that an unbeliever or a believer with habitual sins/character issues is a no-go-area.”

"Thanks Joy! I'm blessed!"

"I pray that God will lead you indeed!"

CONFESSION FOR THE DAY
I am led of God

PRAYER FOR THE DAY
Lord, help me to hear you clearly

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
1 Corinthians 2:9 (KJV)
But as it is written, Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him.

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THE SECRET BEHIND SUCCESSFUL RELATIONSHIP IN THE LORD

INTRODUCTION
God is the author of of relationships. Relationship cut across all areas of our lives. There are certain requirements for relationships based on it's types. It is true that many often fail in their relationships. So, we want to uncover the secrets behind a successful relationship between a bachelor and a spinster who are looking up to marriage.

DEFINITION
1. Secret simply means, "knowledge that is hidden and intended to be kept hidden" We have to leak the secrets today!
2. Successful means, " resulting in success, assuring, or primitive of, success, accomplishing what was proposed, having the desired effect, prosperous, furtunate, happ"
3. Relationship means, " connection or association, the condition of being related."
4. 'in the Lord': A careful study of the use of this adverbial phrase in the Bible means according to the Lord's ( Christ's) teaching. See 1Cor. 7:39, Eph 6:1, Col.3:18.
Therefore, we are discussing the secrets behind successful relationship according to the teachings of Jesus Christ.

Key tips to think deeply on
- Relationship is not for children, but for adult of marriageable age.
- Any child who dabbles into a relationship before time will surely get hurt.
- When the purpose of a thing is not known, abuse is inevitable.
- Insanity is doing a thing the same way and expecting a different result.

SECRETS TO SUCCESSFUL RELATIONSHIP FOLLOWS:

KNOW YOURSELF
You must take your time to discover who you really are. You must know your temperament. Your must know your strengths and weaknesses. Know your medical status. You may need the  counsel of a psychologist and a medical doctor. A good knowledge of yourself is needed before thinking of having a partner.

GET A VISION
Vision is "an idea or goal towards which one aspires". You must have a vision for your life. You can't move like the waves of the sea to just anywhere. You must become visionary. This means having vision or foresight. Someone with a vision is one having positive ideas about his or her future. A visionary person is goals oriented, ambitious, objective, purposeful and also aspires for the best. If you are a man of vision, you attract a lot of sisters. Then, it becomes easy to choose. Sisters want to marry men who have vision in all areas of their lives.

SET  REALISTIC GOALS.
You have to break down your vision into short, medium and long term goals. Then pursue them. You must set goal for your intended relationship. It must be legalistic.

BE PRAYERFUL
Prayer is key to success generally. You must constantly pray for your future endeavors. You must start to pray for the kind of relationship and marriage you will like to have before time.

Please note that these points are not necessarily arranged in any particular order.

LOVE GOD AND OBEY HIM.
You must be spiritual minded. You will succeed if your relationship is built upon the solid rock of the word of God. Seek and be among God's people always.

BE PREPARED
There is a saying that goes, " He who fails to plan is planning to fail" You must prepare physically, financially, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and educationally. If you are a brother, make sure you have a house you live in rented or built, a steady source of income,  etc before seeking to start a relationship. Sisters want to be    sure that you will be able to take good care of all forms of their needs. If you are a sister, do something that earns you money so that you will be able to support your husband. This will gain you respect from your husband. Sisters should not expect their fiance to start paying all their bills while just starting a relationship.

KNOW YOUR PARTNER
It's important for brothers to study their intended partners even before approaching approach them. While the relationship has started. This studies continues.

MIND YOUR APPROACH
Most men don't know how to approach women.   Some brothers are not left out. This is why sisters often times reject them outrightly. Brothers should learn to approach sisters with respect. Don't ask a sister to be your girlfriend, she might just reject you. Ask her to be your Christian sister and a friend. Grow friendship first. Show her love. Tell her you love her. Give her the assurance that the relationship is heading for marriage. Only say what you mean and only mean what you say. Sister wants to be sure that you truly love and really want to marry her. Don't be in a hurry for her to accept to court you. In fact, be the one to tell her to take her time out to think before getting back to you. Be patient for her response. If you don't know how to approach her, let a mature brother or sister do it for you before you come into the picture. First impression matters a lot.

NEVER EXPECT PERFECTION
Only look for a perfect partner if you are one. But if you know you are not perfect, then expect imperfection from your would-be partner. Men should know that God wants them to groom their partners. The grooming starts when in a relationship and continues in marriage. Sisters, know that you can't get Mr right since you are not Miss right. You need someone who loves God and is willing to learn how to overcome his weaknesses. Many sisters are unmarried because of this mistake. Don't be a victim.

COMMUNICATE EFFECTIVELY
Effective communication is the engine that drives a relationship. You must master the art. Poor communication skills will ruin your relationship. Mind what you say, when to say and how to say it to your partner in your relationship. Relationship often starts well, but when there is breakdown in communication, such relationship may hit the rock and may never be revived. Settle differences immediately. Communicate daily and in fact many times in a day.

[20:35, 1/15/2018] ‪+234 816 218 8663‬: 11. LEARN TO APOLOGIZE.
Most men feel too big to say sorry when they are wrong. Some women a r sad also hardened. They consider it belittling themselves if they say sorry. You must learn to apologize always, sometimes even when you are right.

FORGIVE ALWAYS.
If God forgives us of all our sins, how much more we mere mortals. Often times, we refuse to forgive. This endangers our relationships. We must be ready and willing to forgive our partners even before being wronged. Remember, if you don't forgive men their trespasses neither will God forgive you. It means your prayers will be abominable before God. Forgive and keep your relationship alive.

KNOW HOW TO COOK
Both brothers and sisters must master the art of cooking before thinking of going into relationship that is leading to marriage. This is because after marriage, when one is weak, the other who is strong will take care of the weak one. I pity men who don't know how to cook because they will surely eat outside when their wives are not at home. Brothers, sisters want to hear that you can cook for yourself. This makes them feel safe because they know they will need you to do that when they are pregnant or have just given birth. Brothers abandon sisters who cannot cook before marriage. So,  prepare for courtship and marriage by becoming a good cook. In fact the ability to take care of the home generally is needed.  This is because relationship is to be continued in marriage.

ALLOW ROOM FOR PRIVACY
You don't have to intrude into the privacy of your partner always. Allow him or her some privacy. Stop searching his or her phones and questioning him or her about everything. Stop policing him or her. Stop monitoring his or her every movement. You will likely  accuse him or her falsely. This may spell doom for that relationship. Stop constituting yourself to be a private investigator to him or her because this will be interpreted as lack of trust. This has ruined many relationships. Yours should not be next.

KILL PRIDE
Many people are very proud of themselves and their achievements. They look down on others. This often takes over a person's entire being and makes him or her not to see the best in others. Pride is manifest when a person becomes boastful. He or she becomes the centre of reference in almost every discussion. The Bible says that pride goes before a fall. Many sisters have remained unmarried till old age as a result of pride in their lives. They reject and look down on brothers. This brothers do go out and convert women and marry, while sisters remained single. Sisters do this because of their beauty, financial status, social standing, educational qualification, etc. Many sisters who felt victim of pride are regretting it. Don't be the next victim!

BE HUMBLE
Humility attracts honour, respect, favour and friendship. It makes for peace in a relationship. So, wear humility, especially as a sister. One of the things brother look for in a partner is her level of humility. So wear it and let it overwhelm you.

MASTER THE LAW OF SILENCE
The law of silence demands that you have the ability to remain calm in certain situations. You must learn to be quiet sometimes. You need to listen more than you talk. You need to be calculative in your speech. You need to meditate on some things said to you first before you respond. There are sometimes that silence becomes the only answer that guarantees peace. However,  don't ignore your partner when he or she talks to you. You can put a discussion forward until you are ready to handle it. Note that verbal wounds hurt more that literally wounds and takes a longer time to heal. Be careful!

ANTICIPATE TEST
Your partner may decide to test you on a number of issues. They test is geared towards determining whether you are still steadfast to your promise to him or her. It might be to determine what kind of husband or wife you will be when both of you gets married. It might be to see how much you love God. It might be to determine what you really want from him or her. Think we'll first, before you respond to questions or demands that seem tempting. If you are not careful, you will fail his or her test because it will come to you as a surprise. Be alert. Anticipate them before they come. If you fail, he or she may feel you are unserious and may leave you.

LOVE YOUR FAMILY
If you are a man, love your family members, especially your mother. If you love your mother you will be able to love your wife. If you are a woman, love your family members, especially your father. If you love your father, you will be able to love your fiance and your husband later.

LEARN THE ART OF GIVING
You must learn to give, give and give. Step expecting and collecting all the time. Men generally don't like women who are too demanding. So,  find something to do so you can support your partner.

DON'T DOUBLE DATE
There are some brothers who go out with two to fours sisters promising to marry them. There are also many sisters who do same. There are some sisters who promise to marry one brother whereas are still going out with others and collecting things from others. At the long run, all may disappoint her, perhaps after messing her up. Stick to one person and be committed to the relationship.

APPRECIATE
Always appreciate one another. When your partner does something good to you, don't fail to say thank you. Even though it is very small favour, still appreciate. This will attract more love, peace and care to you. It strengthens the relationship.

HAVE SENSE OF HUMOUR
Women generally get attracted to humorous men. Brothers, make sure you joke at times to create a happy atmosphere for proper communication. Humorous people     are very interesting people. So,  try to be one.

BE ROMANTIC
Brother, learn to tell your fiancee that she is beautiful, tell her she has lovely eyes, tell her she has lovely voice, tell her that her hair or dress is beautiful. Tell her that she is always neat. Tell her all the sweetest things she likes to hear. Above all, tell her that you love her and that she is the best thing that has ever happen to you. Mention that you can't trade her for another. Buy her surprise gifts, most especially what she likes. If you fail to do these things, be sure that an unbeliever will do them and before you know it, she will fall for it. Women easily get  carried away by those sweet words. Sisters, brothers also want to hear you speak sweetly to them. You violate no scripture for saying these things to make one another happy. You only master the art of making one another happy.

LEARN TO SAY NO TO SEXUAL IMMORALITY
Know that sexual immorality is a very serious sin before man and God. Abstinence is the key. Flee fornication ( 1Cor. 6:18). Never visit your partner in secret. Never kiss your partner. Never engage in romance. Don't have sex with him or her till after marriage. Flee anyone who encourages you to. Note that your partner is flesh and blood and that there is the possibility of falling into sin. So, be cautious. Don't ever give room for it to happen. Always make it a law never to have sex before marriage right from the beginning of your courtship and follow that resolve passionately. It is possible to abstain. You can.

LOOK GOOD ALWAYS
Eat well.
Make every possible effort to look good. Your appearance matters a great deal. Your appearance attracts either decent or indecent suitors. If in a relationship already, dress fine. Maintain nice hair style. If possible, find out what hair style, dresses and shoes your partner wants to see you in. Remember that in a relationship, you do things to please one another. However, you must not violate God's commands to please any mortal being.

VISIT ONLY WHEN NECESSARY
You don't have to visit often. Visit in company of fellow Christians. Visit only when expected. Brothers shouldn't just go to a sister's house. Sister will misinterpret your intent. Some families don't want their female children to be visited by any man. They tell their female children that they shouldn't introduce a boyfriend to them. They should only introduce the would-be husband. That means they have to be sure before receiving anything from anyone. So, visit only when you have the approval of the sister and her parents. You can see and talk about your relationship in the church or in the open places.

SPEND TIME OUT TOGETHER
As your relationship is moving on fine, create time to take your partner out. You can visit the cinema, bar beach, fast food, etc. I'm not talking about boyfriend or girlfriend here. I'm  discussing serious relationship that is heating marriage soon. Which means family members had given approval to it. Brother, if you don't take your fiancee out, an hour unbeliever will do it and you loose her. Women love good things. They want to be in good places. Sister, you can tell your fiance to take you out. You violate no scripture by doing these things for happiness in your relationship. Get wisdom!

BE COMMITTED TO YOUR PARTNER
Being committed to your partner means you love him or her truly. It means you stay true to him or her. It implies faithfulness. It means loyalty to one another. It means you are content with him or her. It means you give no room for relationship destroyers. You give no room to snatchers. Never play over the intelligence of one another by double dating. Get some senses!

DON'T BE AN IMPOSTOR
Some men play to the gallery just to get women. They tell them all sorts of lies to get them. Once they get them, they start manifesting who they really are. Unfortunately, some brothers follow suit. They deceive sisters by parading themselves to be who they aren't. Some sisters do same. Stop being an hypocrite. Be truthful. Be honest. Don't give someone a false hope.

BE OPEN WITH YOUR FINANCE
Brother, don't hide your financial status. Let your partner know your income and expenditure items. Sister, open up to your fiance. Openness creates trust. It makes partners plan their lives better. Remember in a relationship, the partners start to think alike, act alike, plan for the rest of their lives together. Relationship quickly translates into marriage when issues of finance are kept open. So,  open up today!

LET YOUR PARTNER KNOW YOUR INDEBTEDNESS
You must not live on credit and yet live in pretence. Let him or her know who owes you and who you owe as well as the amount. This will help you to succeed in your relationship. Sudden discovery of this can pose threat to the success of your relationship. So,  stop pretending!

LET YOUR EX BE EX
Many Christians pretend to be saints. They start relationship when they suppose not. Some do it as a result of lust. These and many factors often lead to break up. Some times the offended partner in the relationship feels so cheated and deceived. This often affects new relationship that should result in marriage. To overcome the pains in the heart by an ex party in a relationship, you must first forgive and then allow the person to be in your past. Live that ex to the past. Focus on the present wonderful person God is bringing your way. Don't allow the pains of the past to make you feel bad and treat the innocent partner as your ex. Never go back to your ex because the later disappointment may be worst than the previous one. Note: "Once beaten, twice beaten."

KILL WORLDLINESS
Many Christians youths are as worldly as unbelievers. In terms of music, dressing, lifestyle,etc. Things like these affect relationships. It affects sisters most because devoted brothers will not want to court and marry such. Some sisters want to marry a man who lives in a nice flat, has a car, receives huge monthly salaries, etc while such don't even have anything to support the man with. They often reject good suitors while waiting for their 'ready made husbands". Many sisters with this mindset are already above forty years and are still single. The brothers they rejected left them, got married to other sisters, had children who are graduating from higher institutions. Sisters should not bewitched themselves.  Sisters should be more spiritual minded.

SHOW RESPECT
Learn to respect yourself. Lear to respect your partner. Remember that respect is a reciprocal. Lack of respect can easily cause break up. No man  likes a disrespectful partner for courtship let a lone for marriage.  Many sisters lack respect. They should learn that or get ready for break up. In fact the would-be mother in-law would tell the son not to marry a disrespectful girl to avoid marital problems. So,  sisters, learn to respect.

BE OPTIMISTIC
Many relationships fail from the beginning. This is as a result of inability to let go of past failed relationship. Because of past failures, some sisters feel that the new suitors would also disappoint them. They often say that all men are the same. Sisters, all men are not the same. There are still good ones. Brothers, don't allow past rejection to condition your mind for another failure. Brothers and sisters, always be optimistic. This is the only known way to succeed. Speak faith into your life. Nots: "so you think, so you become"

INVOLVE TRUSTED MARRIED PERSONS IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP
It's true that experience is the best teacher. Before you go into a relationship, consult a relationship expert. Get tips for successful relationship. This will enable you to know what to expect and what to do. Brother, if you can't go hunting, use a trusted expert to hunt for you before being let in to your partner. Both partners need to carry trusted married persons along in their relationship. This will enable you get quality advice that will enable you to succeed.

We have been looking at secrets of successful relationship.
We have considered a lot of tips. Please endeavor to follow them carefully and your relationship will transform into marriage soonest.

Please share with your friends and family if found useful

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STRICTLY FOR MEN ONLY

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
~By Lee Majors

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.
~By Al Gore

By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
~By Socrates

Woman inspires us to great things and prevents us from achieving them.
~By Mike Tyson

The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What does a woman want?
~By George Clooney

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.
~By Bill Clinton

"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays."
~By George W. Bush

"I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years."
~By Rudy Giuliani

"There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage."
~By Michael Jordan

"I've had bad luck with all my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn’t.” The third gave me more children!
~By Donald Trump

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming
1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
2. Whenever you're right, shut up.
~By Shaquille O’Neal

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once...
~By Kobe Bryant

You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
~By David Hasselhoff

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
~By Alec Baldwin

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
~By Barack Obama

Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy.
~By Tommy Lee

A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day he received a hundred letters.
They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."
~By Brad Pitt

First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
Second Guy : "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
~ By Jimmy Kimmel

“Honey, what happened to ‘ladies first’?” Husband replies, “That’s the reason why the world’s a mess today, because a lady went first!”
~By David Letterman

“First there’s the promise ring, then the engagement ring, then the wedding ring...soon after....comes SuffeRing!
~By Jay Leno

"The reason why wives live longer is because they don't have a Wife"
~By Brandon Breezy

Share this to all the men to give them a good laugh .......and to the ladies with good sense of humour who can handle it!!!!!!!

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